It’s been said that getting things off of our chest can make us feel better. So without further ado, and said in my best Usher voice, these are my confessions.
1. From the moment I wake up on each and every race day until the moment the race starts, I absolutely dread running it.
2. Sometimes I forget there’s a difference between a stop light and a stop sign.
3. At least once a month I wonder what happened to Willa Ford, but I’m too lazy to investigate further (even as I’m writing this, I can’t muster the energy to Google her). Thus, the mystery goes unsolved.
4. I think Outkast is one of the greatest musical acts ever.
5. For a very long time, I thought the phrase “Up and at ’em” was, in fact, “up and Adam”. Not sure who I thought Adam was, but apparently, he had no problem getting up.
6. I’m terrified that I will be murdered in my home, and as part of the police investigation, people will go through all of my things. The thought alone nauseates me.
7. I would love to go through the things of murdered people (or those still alive, whatevs).
8. I judge people who text and drive . . . while I’m texting and driving.
9. Once, I accidentally directed my road rage towards a priest.
10. I want to like NPR but find it insufferable 89% of the time.
11. Sometimes I can’t wait for my run to be over.
12. I like to judge people for eating poorly, but yesterday was the first time that I had a vegetable other than spinach in at least a week.
13. I think I’m getting sick of bean burritos… and losing part of my identity.
14. I hate hot fudge and whipped cream.
15. I like to say that I don’t like sweets and candy, but I’ll eat almost anything if it’s in front of me (except hot fudge/whipped cream/most fruit-based desserts).
16. I hate Christmas.
17. I have full-blown, in-depth conversations with myself in the bathroom mirror every single day.
18. I obsess over my under-eye wrinkles at least 30 minutes every day.
19. I’m a “grass is always greener person” to a fault.
20. I’m full of shit 78% of the time.