Things to Keep in Mind When Dating/Married to/Friend of/Parent to an Ultra & Trail Runner

  1. When we say we “need” to go for a run, we mean it. Whether it’s for sanity’s or training’s sake, we literally need to go run. After we get that run in, we’ll stop talking about it . . . until the next day. In that same vein, we may sometimes complain about HAVING to go for a run. Yes, we know we could technically “not go” . . . wait, actually no, we have to go. If we don’t, it’ll pick at us all day, everything will remind us of the fact we didn’t go, and we’ll be cranky and miserable because of it.
  2. However long we say we’ll be gone on a run, it’s safe to add AT LEAST an hour or two. Sometimes, we fail to take into consideration travel time, bonk time, refueling time, or “we felt good so we just kept going” time.
  3. Grocery bills will increase along with our training. And yes, we are eating AGAIN.
  4. Friday nights are usually more tame than any other night of the week BECAUSE Saturday morning alarms for long runs are usually much earlier than week day alarms for work.
  5. Vacation time is still running time.
  6. We may accidentally leave wet shoes, dirty clothes,  or sweaty hydration packs in our car from time to time which means it may smell like a dead body in there from time to time. We’ll also come home smelling like ass, covered in sweat, mud, and God knows what else. We promise we’ll take a shower and get back to our normal, sexy selves as soon as we peel ourselves up off the floor.
  7. We think about running . . . a lot. We follow obscure races and geek out over runners you’ve never heard of before. This only intensifies when we get around our ultra/trail running friends. Eventually, we will talk about other things; be patient with us.
  8. Ultrasignup can be a more dangerous website than Ashley Madison. If you see us on there, rein us in. We could easily sign up for 10 races in 10 different states at any given time if left to our own devices.
  9. We, at some point, will likely (literally) fall victim to our sport. We may twist an ankle, bruise/skin knees, pass out, need IVs, or piss blood. Yes, we know we brought this on ourselves. Still, listen to us talk about it again and again, tell us what bad asses we are, and try to spare us a lecture (until at least maybe the wounds and urethras are healed). We also realize you’re only concerned about us and appreciate and love you for it.
  10. We love our sport, and we love you. We also understand that you, more than likely, are not obsessed with what we do (or at least to the degree we are). And that’s ok. However, nothing makes us happier than when you show an interest (even if feigned) or want to crew/support/spectate/talk running. That being said, it’s not always expected. We know we’re weirdos and are thankful you love us in spite of it.
Gratuitous Jenn and Tony pic

Gratuitous Jenn and Tony pic-photo cred: luis escobar

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51 responses to “Things to Keep in Mind When Dating/Married to/Friend of/Parent to an Ultra & Trail Runner

  1. Absolutely loved this!! #RighOn

  2. Reblogged this on Alex runs global and commented:
    Funny, but so true. 🙂

  3. Yep!

  4. well written – awesome

  5. This is definitely my sister. Haha ❤️

  6. I usually hate these lists. They’re mostly knock off’s of existing lists from cyclists, or made by people who are new to the community and are better at talking about it rather than doing it. But I have to say this all sounds painfully familiar 🙂

  7. Great read and reminds me of the benefits from dating an ultra runner!
    http://tpadventures.com/2015/01/why-you-should-date-an-ultrarunner/

  8. Reblogged this on Carina Kool – Runner Gal and commented:
    Love this! This is so true.

  9. So good, I also reblogged it on my trail running website! Really cool blog you got.

  10. Reblogged this on Her Junk Miles and commented:
    I’m at work in my office reading this post and laughed so loud I had to explain to a co-worker walking by what I was laughing about. Of course, they’re a non-runner, or maybe they’ve done a 5k. Either way they cannot relate.

    “We may accidentally leave wet shoes, dirty clothes, or sweaty hydration packs in our car from time to time which means it may smell like a dead body in there from time to time. We’ll also come home smelling like ass, covered in sweat, mud, and God knows what else. We promise we’ll take a shower and get back to our normal, sexy selves as soon as we peel ourselves up off the floor.”

  11. That is so perfectly true.
    Brilliant

  12. Spot on! Though I’m not an ultra runner I’m married to one and recognise all of the things on the list! So glad I’ve stumbled across your blog.

  13. Totally love this list! Please can i share this on my blog and credit you? http://www.walkingthedream.com ?

  14. The details are dead on! I esp can relate on the ” pissing blood ” lol and “yes we’re eating again” !

  15. I could not stop laughing!!!! It is so true though

  16. Ralph Patric Terence Pietersen

    Very Nice inspirational Reading about running

  17. Hello,
    I would like to use this as a blog post with some mods as supplements to your content. I will attribute your original authorship and put a link to your post in the post. I’m happy to let you review my edit, first, but wanted your permission before I simply posted. Please reach out and let me know if this is alright with you and how to proceed.

    Thanks!

  18. Reblogged this on Fit it in one and commented:
    Not quite an ultra runner yet but my wife said that she sees me in at least 7 of the 10 items in the list…

  19. Pingback: If you love a climber, you might relate to this… | Audrey Sniezek

  20. Hey. Is it OK I quote and link to this blogpost on my own blog on (www.runningblogs.dk). Please note that the site is in a test phase. 🙂 Kirsten Isak

  21. Pingback: High Five Friday #27 - Run Mum

  22. So brilliant! Haha. This is a good idea. Makes me want to dare hubby to try this kind of bonding activity. What you think?

  23. Reblogged this on fernandadehoyoswalther and commented:
    Very funny

  24. Just want say your article speaks volumes thank you. I like others would like to share you post.

  25. Both posted images are stolen from Luis Escobar. The first one was ginned up by some CrossFattie/Tuff Mudder loser who was smacked down for being a complete dick. This is not cute or funny, but incredibly lame.

    • You’re right, I should’ve given credit to luis. Fixed. I’m sorry you think it’s lame (not sure whether you’re talking about the post or the first picture).

  26. The poster image WAS STOLEN from Luis. He was not consulted, or paid for it. Yes, its lame on all counts, capped by a caption that was written by a poser who clearly has no idea of what ultras are about. I first saw this image in 2013 from a CrossFattie poser who was on the FB ‘ultrarunning’ page. Luis was notified, and he was pissed. And yes, that poser was bounced from the group.

  27. So funny and so true! I see myself in all the ten points! Can I do a spanish translation and put it on my Facebook? Identifying you as the author and adding a link to your original post, of course!

  28. All true!! I love my husband and I know he loves his running. God loves an ultra runner 🙂

  29. I like to run, but never get the ‘have to’ part. I’m in control of my exercise vs the other way around. “Having to do something” just sounds more like addiction and/or avoidance of the real issue to me. I’m sure that pisses a lot of people off, but there’s truth in it.

  30. Pingback: Things to Keep in Mind When Dating/Married to/Friend of/Parent to an Ultra & Trail Runner | Fotrallylandslaget

  31. Really enjoyed this and see myself in many of the points.

    To those who appeared vexed about images/ideas elsewhere. chill. I am reminded of a comic strip writer (Berkeley Breathed – Bloom County) apologizing to Gary Trudeau (Doonesbury). Apparently Mr. Breathed copied a concept into his own strip years after it had appeared in Doonesbury. The latter took great offense and in a later published book the former apologized stating that Doonesbury was always an inspiration and it was never his intent to plagiarize. However the idea was in his subconscious and he used it unknowingly.

    Many of these themes have appeared in run100s.com and the humor section therein. Yet have no reason to believe they were copied (and it doesn’t appear to be verbatim) maliciously or even knowingly even if the author had read them ten years ago. This isn’t some huge for profit deal, it is a forum to share humor and insight into running.

    Thanks for laughs this morning. Sharing to my facebook page.

  32. Pshhhh. I smell like rainbows and strawberry scented puppy dog farts. Not sure what’s wrong with ya’ll.

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